Im tired of the Fast Car. 

Hold on and cherish your love. It’s so magical that it’s fragile and will disappear in an instant. I don’t mean the false love that appears in flashes or Love’s evil twin, Lust that leaves just as soon as it came. 

I mean the kind of love that sparks fireworks in your belly and shoots out whenever they make you laugh or cry or come. The kind of love that is so desperate to be felt it makes you fearful just thinking about it. 

That type of love can never be kept because it’s too much for one person to handle. That type of love is only meant to be a snapshot. To teach. To learn. To give away. 

There’s another side to this. With this kind of love comes fogginess. It feels so good to be in on inside jokes no one in the room will get. And it’s nice to having a standing date on Mondays to meet after work. And you grow to anticipate going to bed just for a movie marathon via FaceTime. 

But it’s so easy to use the fire glowing inside of your belly, to set yourself aflame because they look cold. Of course they didn’t ask you to do this. Or did they? It could have been when they said you’re the only one they could talk to openly about things they thought no one cared about… Like the gender of numbers. Maybe it was when they whispered “baby” in your ear even though you told them not to call you that. Was it when you guys finally walked the highline and ate meatballs and held hands after five years? Or was it when they pulled away when you finally opened up?


You remember that you can’t burn for a person who won’t burn for you. Something will happen where you realize their bags are too heavy. They are only visitors and they are making way too much of a mess for you to be comfortable anymore. They’ll tell you they are sorry and they want you to be mad and never speak to them again. And you won’t.

But not before saying they deserve every good thing. And they matter and you love them but it’s not enough because you’re running out of embers to sacrifice. 


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