Someone who had no business emailing me happy birthday emailed me happy birthday.
And for the first time I did something different. Usually I would either ignore it or allow the door to open even if it’s just a crack. This time I said clearly and plainly that I don’t need a birthday wish. That in order to change you need to do something different. There’s no reason to do that because there is no hope in any relationship (romantic or platonic).
This made me think about closure. There are of course different kinds. Some ppl need to hear the truth. Some ppl need to say what they’ve been holding in. Some want a play by play of what happened just to make sure what happened really did and that they aren’t crazy. Some ppl are desperate to try and be friends.
Regardless, closure is supposed to add the final nail to the coffin so that the two parties can walk away and move on from their lives.
Only it doesn’t really work that way, does it?
There are so many ppl searching from answers from their previous significant other. But what if the significant other doesn’t want to provide an explanation? What if they don’t like the answer that’s given?
To be honest That’s torture.
It’s just something to cushion the fall. An excuse to keep in contact. To make you feel like everything will be ok; you’ll meet again; you two can walk away whole.
You don’t need the answers from them.
You don’t need to painfully rake over each and every minute detail to see where it went wrong.
The only closure you need is from yourself.
Sometimes you have to walk away shattered so you can fix yourself into something bigger and better. I think it’s necessary to FEEL your FEELINGS to come out renewed. It’s ok not be ok. It’s ok to leave things where they are. Don’t fool/torture yourself into thinking you need closure. You’re just keeping the knife there to stop the bleeding.